1-26-97.  20 years old.  Today, as I look back on the past year of my life I am starting to notice my weakness.  My back tends to get tense when I walk.  I think it may be due to leaning back and sticking my belly forward when I walk.  I notice that my hips swing front to back when I am walking on a flat surface.  This swinging front to back could also be what is causing my lower back to be tense.  When I walk up hills or steps my calves are sore to the point I cannot walk normal.  I sometimes find myself stopping for a
brief moment, half-way to class, to release the tension in my legs and back.  The biggest weakness I am noticing is my confidence is diminishing.  I am trying not to beat up on myself because I know once I lose myself mentally, I have nothing to keep me in line.  Doctors say I have muscular dystrophy and I am starting to believe it.  I feel lost and nobody will help me.  I am alone.  I wish someone would come into my life and let me know that I will be okay.  It is just so hard to live a normal life when your body will not let you do the things you want it to do.  I try talking to my girlfriend but the television and sleep are more important to her than a boyfriend who is struggling.  This is what I mean when I say that I am alone.  If the girl in my life cannot find time to listen to my health concerns then who will?