2-15-00. The Start of Something New Journal. 22 Years old. If I was to die today and I had a chance to talk to my body, what would the conversation look like? I think it would go like this:
Soul: Why did you care so much and so long about how others viewed you?
Body: It was more important for other people to accept me than for me to accept me.
Soul: Why did you hide your physical disability for so long?
Body: I was embarrassed to be me. I didn’t want to be different from everybody else. I just wanted to fit in and be accepted. I thought people wouldn’t want to be around me because I would draw embarrassing attention to them.
Soul: Why didn’t you love yourself more?
Body: I thought nobody would want to be with me because I had a disability. So I couldn’t love me.
Soul: Why did you go back and forth on the possibility of being healed?
Body: I wanted to be healed but my thoughts told me it was impossible.
Soul: Why didn’t you allow another woman into your life?
Body: I was afraid she would leave me if I continued to struggle physically.
Soul: Why didn’t you ask God for help more often?
Body: I was trying to conquer my struggles on my own.
Soul: Did you know that you could have done anything you wanted by only believing in yourself?
Body: Now that I know this to be true, I wish I would have believed more in myself while I was in form.