4-22-07. Self Study Book #1. 29 years old. Last night I was throwing in the towel. My physical struggles proved too great for me to overcome. As I lay in bed talking with God, I found myself at peace with the idea of returning home. There were no tears or fears as I thought this night might be my last one here if God should see I truly cannot move beyond this physical struggle. As I opened my eyes today and saw the morning sun shining on my face, I realized there is more work for me to do before my time is up. I knew this because God woke me up today. When situations don’t seem to be going my way and I’m ready to just give up, the universe shows me what I need to learn in order to move beyond the struggle I am experiencing. I turned the television on and there was this man named Joel Osteen standing on a stage talking about “A can Do Attitude”. I immediately felt this was the answer to my struggles. “You need to know that God has given you everything you need to defeat this and now it’s up to you to know it and do it. Quit telling yourself that you can’t or quit thinking that you can’t. You need to wake up each morning and tell yourself that you can do it.” These words, from Joel Osteen, were what the universe was telling me I needed to do. It’s time to stop thinking that I cannot defeat this disorder and know, truly believe that I have all I need to go beyond MD. So often I become side tracked and down when situations don’t go the way I want it to. These are the times I need to be mindful of and stop myself from becoming negative and remind myself to be strong and filled with “A can Do Attitude”. Right now I might not fully understand this but before all is said and done I will look back and say that this moment I am going through was most important for me to have gotten where I am now, healed.
