3-13-07  Yoga Class.  29 years old.  My outlook along with attitude has not been the most uplifting in the past few days.  I’ve tended to focus on all that I have done in the past and where I should be now based on my past efforts instead of how I feel as a result of the changes I’ve made.  The problem is that I expected myself to be further along than what I see in the mirror, how I feel after walking or exercising.  Herein lays the main problem, myself not being content with where I am now and the wonderful experiences happening all around me.  Tonight I went over to my yoga teacher’s house, Clint and Stacey, to learn some new yoga exercises.  All day I was thinking about those stairs I was going to have to climb once I got there and so I started to think of a way out of going over there.  Excuses such as I’ll go over Thursday night instead, I’ll tell him I fell asleep crept into my brain and all because I didn’t want to face those stairs.  I did not follow the excuses but instead went over and had a wonderful experience.  First of all I was hungry before I went over and I started to think about what I was going to eat once I finished yoga.  Don’t you know Stacey was making peppers and asked if I would like one?  This to me was the universe assisting me by bringing forth what I wanted, food.  So I’m grateful for going over there tonight for that experience.  The most important lesson that I received tonight was this idea of it’s not necessarily about “form” as it is about “experiencing it” and adjusting.  All this time I have been trying to
perfect the positioning of the yoga postures when in fact the important part of yoga was the experience and learning the exercise.  I feel this example of “form” versus “experience” can be extended to everything in my surroundings.  How you experience it is by being present and not thinking about what had happened earlier in the moment or about what is going to happen later, it’s all about the now.  This “now” is a concept I need to partake in and one I feel will change me. There is only the “now”, nothing more, nothing less.  Be in the now.