1-26-97. 20 years old. Today, as I look back on the past year of my life I am starting to notice my weakness. My back tends to get tense when I walk. I think it may be due to leaning back and sticking my belly forward when I walk. I notice that my hips swing front to back when I am walking on a flat surface. This swinging front to back could also be what is causing my lower back to be tense. When I walk up hills or steps my calves are sore to the point I cannot walk normal. I sometimes find myself stopping for a
brief moment, half-way to class, to release the tension in my legs and back. The biggest weakness I am noticing is my confidence is diminishing. I am trying not to beat up on myself because I know once I lose myself mentally, I have nothing to keep me in line. Doctors say I have muscular dystrophy and I am starting to believe it. I feel lost and nobody will help me. I am alone. I wish someone would come into my life and let me know that I will be okay. It is just so hard to live a normal life when your body will not let you do the things you want it to do. I try talking to my girlfriend but the television and sleep are more important to her than a boyfriend who is struggling. This is what I mean when I say that I am alone. If the girl in my life cannot find time to listen to my health concerns then who will?
