3-4-07  Self Study Book #1.  29 years old.  “As long as I continue to follow the reasoning of the past, the past will continue to follow.”  This quote came to me today as I was walking up the stairs in the late afternoon.  Poker night was last night and I didn’t arrive home until some time around 3 am.  I awoke and glanced over at the clock to see 7:45 am.  I thought to myself, “4 hours and 45 minutes of sleep is not enough time for me to function on.  I’ll be tired all day if I get up now.”  And so I went back to sleep and finally opened my eyes at 12 o’clock, more exhausted than at 7:45 am.  I usually beat myself up mentally when I allow myself to sleep half the day away by telling myself, “What are you doing sleeping this late?” “Other people your age are taking lunch right now and you’re sleeping.” “Are you ever going to get yourself figured out?” but today I would not acknowledge the mental beatings that were knocking on my mental door.  I have noticed visual information along with reasoning playing a huge role in
decision making and today was no different.  My body was ready to wake up but my mind said go back to sleep, all because of the time on the clock.  I have never had such a small amount of sleep in which I woke up and started my day to only be lazy all day long and yet this reasoning keeps popping up when it’s time to rise.  I cannot help but think if I didn’t have a clock in my room and I woke up like I did this morning on such a small amount of sleep time, would I have gotten up because my body felt ready to wake up?  The sleeping in is affecting me by delaying my day and not leaving me time to do what I want to do.  There are tasks that need to be done and I say “need to” because they make me feel good.  Example of need to do is stretching.  Ideally I would like to stretch once in the morning and once at night for a period of at least one hour.  If I don’t stretch the movements I engage in throughout the day tend to be less fluid like and more robot like and so I must do my stretches.  When I wake up late it delays my
stretching schedule and sometimes prevents me from engaging in more enjoyable activities.  When I am unable to enjoy my days as a result of sleeping in, life becomes frustrating for me.  I have two choices to make: One, enjoy sleeping in late and avoid the mental torture I put myself through.  Two, wake up early and start my day.  I understand that as long as I think like yesterday, yesterdays results will continue to show up.